How to dial back screen time for kids

A common refrain among my parenting friends is, “We’ve really lowered the bar across the board on how strict we are about screen time for kids.”

It’s an easy thing to let slide considering the demands of being a parent. But the abundance of technology in our lives can make screen time for kids add up. Between handheld devices, TVs and computers, kids and teens can easily spend nine hours a day interacting with a screen.

Two of my parenting friends, Mallory and Lucy, are both moms of two who have shared the need to reset some boundaries around how much time their kids spend with screens.

“I need to implement some sort of schedule or get into a healthier routine,” Mallory says. Lucy sees screen time for kids increase in a recurring pattern: “After summer and each holiday, where things just descend into digital madness, we kind of need to reestablish expectations.”

Dialing back tech use can be challenging. Fortunately, there are many tools that can help. The five tips below can help parents restore healthy digital habits for kids after the life-tech balance has teetered off the rails.

1. Remain calm.

Imposing restrictions or implementing new rules can trigger emotional responses in kids. To keep the reactions under control:

• Begin with a calm demeanor to set the tone. Think about how you feel when a colleague starts a meeting anxious or angry. Be intentional with your tone.

• Help your child understand that they didn’t do anything wrong, it’s just time to revisit your screen time rules. Explain the why behind the changes.

• Avoid making rules that become like punishments. A conciliatory conversation is generally a good way for kids to be more receptive to changes.

• Talk it through to help kids understand your concerns and decisions.

2. Ease into new rules and routines gently.

While taking away a device may be a parent’s first thought, the sledgehammer approach often makes situations worse. Complete restriction can cause kids to find creative ways to break the rules. So focus on establishing a process to rebuild good digital habits.

For example, start with small changes based on time of day, such as putting tech down at mealtimes or creating spaces in the home where tech use is not allowed. And instead of more tech rules, consider new routines—like this screen time routine for kids under 13 and this evening screen routine for teens.

3. Try activities that are healthy distractions.

When you suggest to kids that they put down their phones or tablets, it’s best to have plans or recommendations for ways to spend the recaptured time. Regularly scheduled time for non-tech-based activities can help bring balance back to screen time for kids. What will hold their interest? Here are a few options to consider:

• Schedule family walks.

• Play board games.

• Plan and cook meals together.

4. Give kids time to prepare.

It can be helpful to remind kids of how much time they’re allowed to be on their devices. Alerts and countdown timers can be especially helpful reminders for younger kids. However, you need to follow the rules, too. If you aren’t observing the house rules or ensuring that kids are shutting down their devices when they’ve agreed to do so, it will be harder to reestablish healthy patterns. Some tips:

• Give a warning with a wide berth of time—such as 30 minutes—to allow kids to prepare to quit their favorite game for the day.

• Give another warning at the five-minute mark.

• Consider using a countdown timer to keep everyone on track and make the boundaries extra clear. 

5. Set (or reset) expectations.

All of the suggestions above help to reset expectations around screen time for kids. If you previously had screen time rules but have let them lapse, make sure you communicate with your kids about resetting expectations. You’ll be on your way to restoring a healthy balance in your children’s digital lives.

Set data and Wi-Fi time limits from one app on your phone with Verizon’s Smart Family.